Playgirl
by NeonGolden
Summary: #01 Songfic: Playgirl - Ladytron. Misa central, on train journey from Kyoto to Tokyo on her way to find Kira, introspective focus on her obsession and determination, her subtly powerful character. R&R is nice.


**01 – Playgirl**

_**Death Note – Misa Amane**_

_playgirl, why are you sleeping in tomorrow's world, hey playgirl  
playgirl, why are you dancing when you could be alone, hey playgirl  
playgirl, why are you sleeping in tomorrow's world, hey playgirl  
playgirl, choking on cigarettes to get you along, hey playgirl_

_hey playgirl, hey playgirl  
northern lights catch you coming down  
sleep your way out of your hometown_

_foreign coin on a telephone box  
a question mark on a calendar  
an empty seat on the alpha line  
a sorting code, an account number  
_

_Ladytron - Playgirl_

* * *

Misa breathes on the window, condensation blurring the view of the country flashing past, and draws a heart with her finger. Her hand is unsteady, the train is jumping and shifting, and the heart drips and dribbles into an imperfect shape that Misa rubs out with the side of her hand.

Beside her a business man shuffles his paper and sticks his elbows out, forcing Misa closer to the cold window. There is snow on the grassy hills outside, rural and boring, but if she presses her face against the wet glass she thinks she can see the city coming towards her.

She has spent three and a half hours on the kodama train, and there's another half before Tokyo and her meeting with a new life, a new purpose. She has inhaled Kyoto, an innocent Misa with a perfect life and a perfect body, and she has exhaled a killer, a demi-God, a beautiful, powerful dynamo of determination and un- channelled need.

Misa loves herself, and she is unusual because it is honest love and honest assurance in her beauty and intelligence. Self-love is evasive for women, for human beings, but she has found it by being blind to herself. She knows that she is clever enough to keep her secret and find who she has come to Tokyo to find, and she knows that she is beautiful enough and dedicated enough to win him. What does a man want other than a beautiful girl to love him and do his bidding? Misa knows no man could reject her, because so many men have tried to win her before, but she has saved herself for God.

Misa loves herself, and so she models, she stands before the camera and looks into the eyes of the world and smiles, because she knows they will love her too. It is this assurance that leads her from her home to Tokyo, a simplistic definitive belief in her own identity as a perfect person, as a person worthy to be the wife of a god. The only person suitable to be the wife of the God of Justice.

The business man beside her has closed his eyes, sleeping until they reach the platform, but Misa does not close her eyes and she does not sleep. She looks and sees the names and lives of the people on the train around her, stretching before her, endless knowledge and endless power. She will give her power to God, in thanks for what he has done for her.

Misa is not religious, she knows she will never reach heaven or hell, and she does not mind, she is grounded in life. She is not religious but she has faith in the God of the new world, the only person she will ever truly love again. Misa cannot see her own life in her reflection in the window, but she knows she has given some of it to God and she knows she would do it again and again; she would give every day of her life, because she owes her life to him.

The train arrives in Tokyo, the city sprawls around her, open and waiting for her to conquer. Misa has simple ambitions. She wants love and power and justice. She wants a purpose, just as every man and woman in the station around her wants, but of all of them, Misa is the only one with the will to find it. She will find it.

* * *

_Author's Note: This is my first fanfic in a long long time, I know it's a bit drabbly random but I guess I'm just finding my voice again. R&R is lovely, I'll take critisism (I'd like it actually). This is the first in my 100 set, hopefully by the 100th this will look like total crap. _


End file.
